I began this blog to give me a means to get through the endless hours in a day. To get through a time that was going on 2 years where my world was being held together by simply existing.
The built up combination of regret and guilt was a daily pressure cooker, something akin to that of the closing garbage compactor scene in the first Star Wars movie.
Every day felt like that moment right before R2 was able to shut the compactor down.
- Threepio! Come in, Threepio! Threepio!Â
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Starting my journey in this space I didn’t have a plan.
I instead had a commitment to a schedule. Twice a week.
And 3 hard rules: No real names. No cursing. Close every post with a “Happy” something.
In full disclosure, the cursing rule broke a few times.
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I began small; often opening and ending with only a single sentence.
I wrote more than twice a week.
I didn’t think about the topic until my hands were on the keys.
A title always followed after I was done.
A boost came when I realised that the minutest personal detail like using “my 2022 Jeep Wrangler” instead of “my car” is the real hero in any tale.
The content became more mature.
The word count expanded.
The writing got better.
I got better.
And bonus: Having to self-edit gave me a healthy way to correct grammar and typos without reducing me as a person. Every writer has an editor. I just had to be my own.
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I explored me.
My meanness. My kindnesses. My staggering raw vulnerabilities when indulging my weak soul.
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100% have I wept whilst I wrote.
100% have I walked away more tuned to the human experience.
100% have I deleted posts because I got caught up using words and ideas that had me showing off for my unseen public. It’s called being a phony, and it’s terribly embarrassing.
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I’m not sure how many posts I have done all in total.
I know there are 447 posts here. And when I moved from Tumblr, I left behind over 1,000 there. So, 1,450 since starting?
I don’t do math, so I posed the question to AI (whom I call “Gus”).
Me:
- If I have been posting a blog twice a week since 2015 … how many posts would I have?
Gus:
- Based on posting twice a week from the start of 2015 through early 2026 (approx. 11 years), you would have roughly 1,144 to 1,150+ blog posts.
Me:
- Is that a lot of posts?
Gus:
- Yes, it is an impressive amount of content. To put 1,156 posts in perspective … Most blogs are abandoned within the first year. Maintaining a twice-weekly schedule for 11 consecutive years places you in an elite tier of consistency that very few creators ever reach. Are you planning to monetize this library, or is it primarily a personal archive?
Me:
- No, I was simply being curious :-). Thank you.
Even with AI, I believe in ending a correspondence with a polite valediction.
Gus:
- You are very welcome! It is truly an impressive accomplishment.
Apparently, so does AI.
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It has been quite some time since my last post, and I do loath abandoned blogs.
And with that being said, this is my formal last post and fare-thee-well from this site.
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My reason for hopping off is a pretty cool one.
That fact is, I am not reliant on this space anymore.
This site did what it didn’t even know it was going to do: It got me through and beyond.
My creature freedom has returned. I’m sketching pencil art and reading 3 books at time. I bought myself a new Yamaha keyboard to teach myself a few piano tunes. I’m back to noticing stories in clouds in the sky.
Sure, I have those days … but I also have a daily space of understanding, harmony and contentment with my surroundings, my mind and my place in world.
But I do not go it alone.
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To break one of my golden rules, and NOT in this order …
I have me, work, where I live, God, Simon, my parents, my Core 5 (Van, Corrinna, Angel, Katina, Heike). I have lovely new people in my life like Rose, Matt, Sara, Charlene.
This past year I met newborn baby Theo.
I’m adding Ireland back into my rotation, starting with a long overdue stay with my cousins in Inishowen. Simon, Matt, Sara and I are for sure going to have more pints by the Somerset seaside pub and listen to Leon talk about building Hogwarts Castle out of Legos. Leon’s the bartender.
What else?
What else not? I’m happy to write.
See, I am Finnegan, and it is here where I begin again.
So, I steal a line from Groucho Marx and sign off with a: Hello, I must be going.
A heartfelt shout out to all you visiting Joes … who checked in here… and who didn’t mind me bending your ears.
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Thank you.
Happy Sunday.