Anyone else feel the weight of the world last week?
Eesh.
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Man, it was relentless from Sunday until yesterday.
On Tuesday I had to walk away for a few hours. Well, drive away, if one is to be exact.
I took myself down past the River. Listened to tunes. Turn right then turned left. And gave it all a rest.
That helped for sure.
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Weights like that do not happened to me often anymore.
It used to. Daily. For a long time.
Which is the reason I began this blog in the first place. I desperately needed to turn my brain onto something other than what torment it was to wake up knowing that the world was the same as yesterday, and yesterday sucked.
Day 30 went to Day 70 which went to Day 85 … and the number kept rising. I was functioning, but barely.
So started … Finnegan Begin Again.
And here I be. Contemplating my next move with my second cup of joe.
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Ah, I was such a lost soul back then, in search a hug from Universe by way of an imaginary Portal door that would take me back to the other greener side of the meadow.
That’s depression for you.
Sigh.
I got lucky.
I located the door.
[CUE THE DRAMATIC PAUSE]
Sure it’s a bit hobbit-ish … but if you look really close, you’ll see a wee cross down the side of the cobbled stone.
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I am happy to report that that was a long time ago. And I don’t think about that time much anymore.
It’s not a rule I forced into place or a figurative post-it note on the fridge.
But, rather, instead it is something gentle and kind inside of me that engages my attention to look at the present, embrace the silly and fear not the future.
It’s one of the nicest things I now own about me.
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I speculate that this past week’s heaviness stemmed from a cocktail of absorbing too many editorial articles filled with finger pointing and furloughs, mixed with breaking news that yet again someone opted to become a mass murder instead of jumping off a bridge.
[DISCLAIMER: I internally only advocate jumping off a bridge as a solution to any consenting adult who thinks their only option is the destruction of people, animals or this planet.]
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Tuesday in particular was a day that reminded me of how life used to be way back then. And the voice inside my head kept asking incredulously … and this super healthy of me … This was how it was EVERY DAY? For HOW long??
Moving on …
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Next up are a few linger “things” for me to do.
First: I am going to NOT log into work. I’m jonesing as we speak, but staying strong.
Second: Unbox some more boxes. Yes, I know, I am still unpacking boxes. Honestly, my move-in pace is slower than a snail. And my one-book-at-a-time method would take even the most chilled Type B person and convert them to a solid and frustrated A personality.
Third: I do want to explore what that cleared bit of land is that is my south view out my new flat living room window. Google Maps has given me an idea, but I need to take the Jeep and check out that side of the river for myself.
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I’m not a betting person. But odds are that I’m so not going to make that first one. Not even if I really really try.
Happy Saturday.