My Relationship with the World Wide Web

In an effort to lighten the mood, I’ve made a sort of self-deprecating list.

It’s been awhile since I’ve listed silliness, and I find myself endlessly amusing these days. Hey, if you can’t laugh at yourself …

No deep thoughts here, I’m calling this one: My Relationship with the World Wide Webs:

  1. I have an irrational fear of Facebook. When the ‘F’ icon on my phone displays a number, my blood pressure rises. It’s not healthy. I should uninstalled the app, but I like the ‘checking in’ feature.
  2. I never search for people I’ve dated. I don’t care if you do. I don’t want to and you can’t make me.
  3. I’m immediately suspect about anyone who ‘hates’ Twitter. I have two words for that person: Emily Heller.
  4. I’m convinced that every single comment posted on every single website is done by the same group of homeschooled prepubescent Californians whose parents are using the internet as a form of babysitting.
  5. My Instagram feed is the safest place in the world … It’s a collection of tiny house pictures and woman who colour their hair the spectrum of a rainbow.
  6. The last question I googled was: How old are eggs in the supermarket? The answer is shocking. 60 days.
  7. I’m a huge fan of the business professional website LinkedIn. Huge. A premium invested user, I’d say I’m on that site more than any other social media. What’s odd about my dedication to LinkedIn is that LinkedIn has done absolutely zilch for my career advancement. Not one of my 2,000+ networking connections has been of any value. So is it me or them?
  8. I hate, and I mean hate, everything about CNN’s website.
  9. Did you know there’s a site where you can post comments about your neighbours? Oh hell no I’m not going there. I shudder to know that much about where I live. And what if there’s a whole section about the chick at the top of the street who’s always drinking wine on her front porch?
  10. Gmail is now composing my sentences in my email replies, right down to auto suggesting a salutation using the replying person’s name. Chip anyone?

It’s a haircut at 3 with Jake, then I’m off to find a place to dine this evening. After day 4, my sliced tomato and fresh mozzarella meal is beginning to wear thin.

Happy Tuesday.

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