At my local, Debbie, the owner, asked me how my week went. I honestly had to pause to consider the question. What I wanted to say was: Confusing.
Instead I went for: I’m looking forward to this coming week pushing this past week further in the rear view mirror.
Her response? She said: Well. Let’s do this!
And with that I was reminded of Meike.
Spending time with Meike on Tuesday made me realise that I need to add back some moxie into my life. I knew my dear friend would leave some of her mojo behind. She’s a powerful one. I’m still processing her echo.
I also heard every word she said.
It goes something like: Stop looking out the window, stop watching cars drive by, stop indulging people who aren’t all in. She also asked me when I was going to forgive myself for the failure of my marriage. As well as pointing out that I’ve been conducting my life like a Tasmanian Devil.
I’ve known for some time that I have operating in a kingdom not my own. Last Sunday’s text was proof that I am out of my realm. Meike confirmed it. Debbie showed me there were cheerleader’s on life’s path.
Taking a cue from signs …
First things first. After a brief consideration about rejoining the Facebook community, which I all but left in 2017, I removed every associated FB app from my phone and opted to remain on the outskirts of that social media. I can’t have a society of family and friends chart me coming out of a pit.
Besides, all roads there lead to JB anyway. He and I will always be connected on a level that transcends, that is the essence that has been us since we were kids in the sandlot. He’ll tell me if I need to know something, until then, his stuff is none of my business.
Getting that distraction out of the way … I’ll stick here, posting the inner workings of my brain on a forum where I’m free to basically talk to myself, edit myself and be wrong … as I try to improve a life.
Baby steps. Next up … fix this work start date.
Cross fingers. In print my courage reads GREAT.